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Sexual Abuse News
TV anchor: I was sexually abused by Catholic priest
Priest Abuse Church Abuse Pedophile Priest Main & Sexual Abuse Main Page
March 13, 2007
TV anchor: I was sexually abused by Catholic priest
By Thomas Roberts
CNN
Editor's note: Thomas Roberts has been a Headline News anchor since
2001. In this story, he discusses being sexually abused by a Catholic
priest as a teenager.
ATLANTA, Georgia (CNN) -- I became a victim of sexual abuse at the age
of 14; the abuse lasted three years. It took me nearly 20 years to
gather the strength to help put my abuser behind bars. Now, a year after
"justice" was done, I am ready to tell my story publicly in ways I never
have before.
My abuser was Father Jeff Toohey, a trusted man of God. He was the
equivalent of a religious celebrity in my private all-boys Catholic
school in Baltimore, Maryland. Father Jeff was every boy's friend and
mentor. I considered him my mentor as well.
When my parents divorced, I was sent to Father Jeff to help me cope with
all the changes. Divorce in the mid-1980s still seemed so foreign. Plus,
I was just a kid, and I didn't know much about divorce. I just knew it
sucked.
All I had at that time in my life was my family and school. Those were
my constants. But as my family fell apart, so did my life at school.
After the abuse began, high school became a prison of shame and lies.
I felt trapped. My parents would be horrified to know their failure at
marriage put their son at risk to be sexually abused and that the man
abusing me was the high school chaplain and beloved priest.
The school would never believe me, I thought, and I feared I would be
expelled if I revealed the abuse. I was 14, with no voice, except the
one in my head saying, "You can never tell the truth about what is
happening."
Roughly a month after the abuse started, I attempted to commit suicide.
I took a bottle of my mother's pills. I lined them up one-by-one on my
maple dresser. I took them all and lay on my bed hoping to just fade
away and die.
My sister, Patsy, came home and found me. It was the day before her 18th
birthday. She saved my life that day just by merely coming to my room to
say, "Hi." She saw the pill bottle and went to get ipecac, which made me
throw up.
My parents were terribly upset by my actions. Father Jeff was told I
tried to kill myself. All agreed I just needed more counseling. Father
Jeff's exact words were, "You have so much to live for." I felt so
cornered, and I had nowhere to go and no one to run to. I just became
numb to the abuse.
"This too shall pass" is one of my favorite religious sayings. The abuse
did pass, but it left me so insecure about who I was.
When I was in college, another boy, Michael Goles, came forward and
reported his abuse at the hands of Father Jeff. I knew I could help
Michael if I, too, revealed Father Jeff's abuse, but out of a feeling of
self-preservation, I remained quiet. Michael wasn't believed, and his
case was thrown out of court.
Nearly 20 years after the abuse started, I became strong enough to go
back and confront what had happened to me. I was strong enough to tell
my family the truth. I was strong enough to report it to the
archdiocese. And I was strong enough to call Michael Goles and tell him,
"I am sorry," and that I believe him because it happened to me, too.
Together, we were strong enough to see our abuser finally admit his
crimes. Father Jeff was charged with 10 criminal counts of child sexual
abuse in relation to my case. He asked for a plea and admitted his guilt
in court. He was sentenced to five years in jail but only served 10
months. He was released early to serve eight months in home detention.
This story is so layered. For a long time, I couldn't talk about it
without crying. But a year ago, CNN Anchor Anderson Cooper and CNN
Senior Producer Charlie Moore approached me about telling and following
my story. I was scared. I was scared of being so honest and televising
this journey.
What would people think? Would I ruin my career? But I came to the
conclusion that I will not be scared anymore. I will not be scared of
telling the truth because it might be uncomfortable for people to hear.
If this story compels even one person to seek help for being sexually
abused, then it is all worth it. All it takes is telling one person.
From there, strength grows and you can tell a second person and so on.
Then you can finally have control of your life back.
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